Stories of Loss and Hope: Megan and Adam Linville

Megan and Adam Linville have been together since 2015. Megan has suffered from Endometriosis since she was 15 and suffered from low progesterone which caused 10 miscarriages. She has 3 amazing rainbow children and 1 sunshine baby. A sunshine baby is a child born after a rainbow but without a loss in between.

Lola (8), Emma (6), and Noah (3) are her rainbow children.  She was tested after 4 losses to find out what could be causing them which is when she found out that the endometriosis that she was diagnosed with at 15 had progressed to stage 4 and that she also had low progesterone.

During each of her pregnancies that did not end in a loss, she suffered from mental health issues that plague all women who have suffered a loss in one way or another.

She said, “I had depression and anxiety during the pregnancy. The hardest part was the unknown.”

Her last baby Ezra is a sunshine baby, or a baby born with no losses beforehand after a rainbow.  However, after Ezra was born, she had a chemical pregnancy; also known as a pregnancy where the body thinks and acts like you are pregnant, but no actual baby is developing.  She hopes to have at least one more baby in the future and that baby will be another rainbow.

Megan has suffered through secondary infertility, endometriosis, and low progesterone to get the family she always dreamed of. Women like her show the world that there still is hope. She may only have 4 children here on earth, but she has 10 children waiting for her in heaven that she will meet someday.

Lola, Emma, Noah and Ezta @Reflections by Luna

Stage 4 endometriosis is the most severe stage. According to the article Endometriosis on Healthline, stage 4 endometriosis “involves many deep implants on your pelvic lining and ovaries. There may also be lesions on your fallopian tubes and bowels. There can also be a cyst on one or both of your ovaries.”

She is in pain daily from endometriosis. But not only that but not knowing if she will be able to get pregnant again has caused the return of her anxiety.  Mental health issues such as anxiety and depression have a higher occurrence amongst women and even men who have experienced pregnancy loss, infant loss, or infertility. However, this is hardly ever addressed.

Megan Linville with her 3 rainbow babies, Lola, Emma and Noah

It has become such a taboo subject that women/men feel ashamed of what happened and often blame themselves. They feel like they have nowhere to go or anyone that will understand what they have gone through. Sometimes even seeking out a therapist is not helpful because the therapist may not understand or know how to empathize with them over what they have been going through.

According to the article Anxiety and PTSD symptoms common and persistent after pregnancy loss found in the MGH Center for Women’s Mental Health, “Studies looking at the emotional consequences of miscarriage have shown that most women do well; however, some women experience clinically significant symptoms of depression and anxiety. Other studies have demonstrated that many women also experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.” So not only are women/families suffering from anxiety and depression, but each pregnancy succession can also lead to a PTSD attack causing even more anxiety and depression wondering what will happen if the baby makes it, and making it harder for the family to find joy in the new arrival.

Linville Family @Reflections by Luna

You can check out the podcast with Sharna Southan on ways to help overcome the anxiety, and depression that often follows a pregnancy loss, infant loss and struggle with infertility. She has some great resources on her site and provides workshops to medical providers who work firsthand with those who have gone through a loss to help the providers better understand and support them.

Pregnancy loss, infant loss, and infertility are not easy things to live with but there is support out there available to anyone who needs it. Sometimes it may feel difficult to ask or even look but it is there and maybe the one thing that is needed or the link that is longed for is right there just waiting. Never feel alone, there are so many who have gone through something similar that being alone is not possible. 

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